The Twelve Pains of Christmas
by Meriadeth
Summary: Some funny, some cute, hope you enjoy...


_If you have ever listened to this song, it is hilarious, my husband introduced me to this song and I laughed my ass off. So I thought that this would make a cute little fic, sorry if you hate it or if some don't fit, but this is my contribution to the holiday season…_

_The twelve pains of Christmas. _

_The first thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, is finding a Christmas tree._

"Not one word Sammy or I swear." Dean said as he wiped the butt of his jeans off.

Sam nodded holding in his laughter at the sight of his brother. He shook his head as Dean walked off dragging one of the biggest trees known to man.

_The second thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, is rigging up the lights _

The one thing Bobby hated more than Demons was hanging Christmas lights, he had hated it when his wife was alive, and hated it even more after she had died, but when Dean had held up Mary asking Grandpa Bobby to hang up some, he couldn't refuse.

But now as he stared at all the lights that Dean had bought, his old hatred of the blasted things came back in force. He would have to torture some Demons after this.

_The third thing of Christmas that is such a pain to me, hangovers…_

Dean woke up with one hell of a hangover, groaning as he felt tiny hands batting at his face he rolled over as a tiny squeal of laughter made him smile. Opening his eyes he saw Cas standing by the bed with a bottle of water and some aspirins.

Looking down he saw that Mary was sitting on his chest laughing at him while bouncing up and down.

"I told you not to drink so much," Castiel said picking up Mary and walking away.

_The forth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, is sending Christmas cards…_

Sam looked at the list while scratching the back of his head; he looked over at Dean as his brother was playing with Mary.

"Dean, who the hell is all these people," Sam asked, making Dean look over at him.

"I have no clue, but look at Mary when I do this," Dean made a jester and Mary fell back with laughter, making both father and uncle laugh along with her.

_The fifth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, five months of bills…_

Dean parked the car and got out, Sam getting out at the same time.

"You know what is the best thing at Christmas is for us?" Dean asked as they walked into the wal-mart.

"No credit card bills?" Sam asked holding the door open for a lady and her five kids.

"Got it in one, Sammy." Dean said making his way in to the store.

_The sixth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, facing my in-laws…_

Dean opened the door and saw Gabriel standing there with a big smile on his face, Lucifer was standing behind him, and rounding the last one off, Raphael stood with an evil smile on his face.

Dean slammed the door closed…

_The seventh thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, Salvation Army…_

"Cas, where did Mary get that bell?" Dean asked as Cas joined him in the toy isle, Mary was currently chewing on a handle of a bell…

"Mary and I saw a man standing outside ringing it, she wanted it, and so I got it from him." Castiel said as he looked over at Dean.

"Oh, well did you clean it before you gave it to her?" Dean stopped when he received a glare. "Fair enough,"

_The eighth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, _

Sam watched as a little boy was whining for something and he thanked every god and angel and demon that Mary was too young to understand the joys of whining. His eyes when from relief to horror as he saw that Castiel had come around the corner with Mary, and they both were watching as the little boy's whines became louder.

"Hey Cas, really nothing to see here, look lets just go this way," Sam said as he directed the angel and his niece away from the boy, before Mary could get any ideas.

_The ninth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, finding a parking space…_

Dean had driven around for five minutes; his intent was to find a parking space that was in the area code for the mall. Castiel sat in the backseat with Mary as Sam looked out for one on his side…

"Son of a bitch, where the hell did all these people come from?" Dean complained only to flinch as he was hit in the back of the head, by Cas.

"I told you to let me take us, but did you listen to me?" Castiel said as he looked into Dean's mirror from the back with a smirk, Dean growled making Mary laugh at him.

_The tenth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, batteries not included…_

Sam had just walked in from going to the store for the fifth time that day, and when he went the last time he had scored one of the hottest toys for a baby, 'Mary is going to love this thing' it was almost worth battling another man for it.

"Hey Dean look at this, you think Mary is going to love it?" Sam had asked as soon as Dean walked in. His brother stopped and looked at the package of a bear.

"Dude, the most important thing is, did you get batteries for it?" Sam groaned as he looked at the printing which said 'Batteries not included'

Holding his head down, he walked back out the door.

_The eleventh thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, stale tv specials _

Bobby sat on his recliner with Mary sitting on his lap, watching the tube. Mary was being a little fussy and Bobby couldn't blame her one bit.

"I know baby, this show sucks…"

_The twelfth thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me, singing Christmas Carols…_

Castiel looked around, it was dark outside and he had just laid Mary down for bedtime when the strangest sounds came from outside. Going to the door, he opened it cautiously and came face to face with several men and women all standing in a half circle around the porch, holding what looked like books and were singing off key.

He blinked for a minute, titling his head in confusion at what the human were doing. He thought for a moment and wondered what Dean would do. Nodding to himself, and then to the others and they had mistaking it for them to come closer

Waving a hand at them, he was most please when they all disappeared. He turned when Dean walked in.

"Hey who was at the door?" his lover had asked.

"Strange people were singing very poorly at us, so I sent them to sing for someone else…" Castiel had said as he closed the door.

"Cas, where did you send them?" Dean asked wondering where is lover had sent the carolers.

"I believe that Crowley would like the songs, so I sent them down there." Dean stood shocked, and then smiled a little evilly. "Merry Christmas Crowley…"

Crowley sat on his thrown with a freaked out look on his face, six men and six women were standing before him with tacky clothes and sang off key to the king of hell…

"Very funny Winchesters!"

_The end, thanks for reading, review if you liked…_


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